The Bible says the power of life and death is in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and that reckless words pierce like a sword (Proverbs 12:18. Some people claim that God gave us one tongue because He knew how deadly it can be when we misuse it. He also knew our weaknesses in selectivity and control hence His intention to limit the number of tongues per human being. I must hasten to add though that the tongue may not necessarily be used for intended harm - actually used for intended good - but may be perceived differently.
One should know the power of the words and word combinations they use in their daily communications. I was, yet again, a victim of a careless use of the tongue / word combinations recently. I have always used the phrase "how is your life?" casually as a greeting to peers and gotten away with it. I used it to imply a casual "how are you?" but one of my interlocutors recently perceived it differently. By the way, I am sharing this experience with her full approval.
She perceived that phrase to imply that I had developed a thinking that the quality of her life was not good ('mediocre' in her words) hence my persistent querying - I had earlier used it a few times with no consequence but on the previous occasion the cumulative effect reached the threshold and hence elicited a response. Because of her perception of my words as a direct personal attack on her life, one of Newton's laws of nature (Newton's third law of motion) came into effect: ‘For every action, there is an equal and opposite re-action’. She responded in no uncertain terms assuring me of the quality of her life.
I did apologise profusely and honestly pointing out how I had gotten used to this phrase and used it casually among peers and how I meant well. Being the kind person this particular individual is, she forgave me. Upon reflection on my explanation, she later wondered why she had misinterpreted my casual phrase. I do not blame her. I consider that the burden still remains mine to know how to clearly communicate a message. Thank God this lady with a forgiving heart gave me an opportunity to clarify. Somebody else probably wouldn't have and that would greatly affect the working relationship between us.
Well, now I know better. I should select my words carefully and use my tongue wisely so as not to cause any harm or be perceived to have implied harm. May God help my weakness.
Do you find this a familiar territory? Be wise, select your words carefully so as to enhance your social skills.
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